10? 12? Wait, What Happened? Is the Game Over? Did we Lose? I'm Confused.

OK, so here's the lowdown on Monday night's game: What the fuck happened? I'm really not sure. Is it 10 runs or 12 runs at the end of the 5th inning that we ultimately lose? The scoreboard said we were down by 10 runs, while the rule book says we have to be down by 12. I think the score online says we lost by 12 runs, so I dont know what the deal is. However, I have a suspicious feeling that Old Man Rivers behind the plate pulled a fast one on Team Izzy's. Since Monday night also happens to be bingo night down at the Senior Center, Old Man Rivers was in a hurry to finish our game. He ended our game early because he wanted to meet Doris down at bingo. Not only is Doris the 3-time Bingo State Champion in the women's 95+ category, she's also extremely hot. I mean, can you really blame him? Personally, I'd do the same thing. Just look at this hot piece of ass.

Putting technicalities aside, we probably still would have lost had we even finished the full game. I'm not even going to mention our series of infield disasters consisting wild throws, non catches, throwing to the wrong base, turning singles into triples, dropped balls, missed balls, or even wild throws from the outfield. I'm not going to even mention it, just like I'm not going to discuss our poor hitting. I don't think everyone needs to be reminded that our trusty pitcher struck out, twice, or that Hupdirt can't seem break out of his slump, or that I forced a double play with two men on base. You know why I refuse to talk about our shortcomings? Because its not good for moral. And I also don't have enough time.

So, its now time to announce our Bood Light 40oz MVP. Maybe its because it was his Birthday Week. Maybe it was the relievement of learning that after all these years of keg stands, and 6ft bong loads, that his sperm was actually strong enough to swim upriver and find the golden egg. It was this motivation that helped Bilbo hit a shot past center field to middle earth, earning a grand slam. Bilbo hit in 4 of the 5 runs of the game. Bilbo was also one of the three infielders that went to the batting cages before the game. So Happy Birthday, and congrats on knocking up the lady!